A wicked ability to murder
by tua
Summary: "They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love." How Johanna Mason ended up with nothing to call her own, and no one to love.  Right now: in the arena
1. The reaping

The smell of pine needles that's always thick here in the woods, comforts her a little.

Johanna let her mind wander as she watches her sister play with the bark. A quick look at the sun shows it's about time to head back, but it's so peaceful, so quiet, when it's not full of people working here, she really doesn't want to. But after a minute, she gets up anyway.  
>"C'mon, Dee, we've got to head back home," Johanna says to her sister. Dee looks up, then back at her boat, then back to Johanna.<br>"Can I keep this?"  
>"Sure you can. Now get up, or we'll be late", Johanna reminds her sister, and takes her hand. Dee, at least, is one person she can stand. With her blonde hair, always frizzy and wild, and those clear eyes, and the naivety of a five-year-old, she is one of the few persons that could bring a smile out of Johanna.<p>

She is nervous, she always is, but nothing shows, she makes sure of that. Steeph meets her at her house as he promised, and together they make their way to the square. He chatters away, as he always does, Johanna listens, or at least pretends to.  
>It's not that she doesn't care about what Steeph has to say, it's just he's got so <em>much<em> to say, there is no chance she could listen to everything. So for the past five years or so, she hasn't paid that much attention when he starts talking, or rather, doing his monologue. But somehow, the sound of his voice calms her. It's so familiar, because no matter what day it is, he's talking about everything. Its what makes it almost bearable.

The square is already packed with people, but there's next to no queue to sign your name.  
>"I'll see you later," Johanna says to Steeph as she makes her way to the other seventeen-year-old girls, and watches him disappear into the seventeen-year-old boys section. He is the closest to a best friend she has, since she never really got along with the girls, and he... well, she really hasn't figured out why he sticks to her. But she doesn't mind. And he's great with Dee.<br>That reminds her. Johanna looks around, and spots Dee, playing with her bark boat, carried by their mother. Next to them stands her father, looking pale. He never handled this well since that year in his youth when he almost was selected. But that year, there was a volunteer. His name was Matchell Treacling, or something like that. He was drowned by a career two days in. His niece is in Johanna's class.

The mayor starts speaking, and Johanna turns her attention to the stage. It's an odd assembly of people up there, old mayor Roofley, looking almost bored, the mentors – Seaton Blight, his glance slightly unfocused and his hair hanging in front of his left eye, something he doesn't seem to notice, and Kara Wrinth, the old woman whose eyes never rest, always flickering through the crowd – and the escort, Minni Alter, with shocking green hair and a skin that sparkles. Yes, it sparkles. Johanna nearly rolls her eyes, despite the situation.  
>"District seeeeeven!" Minni greats them. A polite applause that Johanna doesn't take part in.<br>"So wonderful to be here! I bet you're as excited as I am for the seventy-first hunger games! Let's start with our boys!" The way she says 'our' boys, makes Johanna disgusted. Like she, with her sparkling skin, was a part of them. An equal. Even though nothing could be further from the truth.  
>"Our boy tribute... for the seventy-first hunger games... is..." Minni makes a short pause, take a breath, and the crowd is so silent , and then she shouts, "...Salmer Cringston!"<p>

A wail from a woman, possibly his mother, silences all other noises for a second. The Peacekeepers starts to move in her direction, but then Salmer detaches himself from the crowd, and steps up on the stage. Minni gives him a bright smile he doesn't notice, and then reaches for a name in the girls bowl.  
>"Now for the girls! Exciting, huh?" Her hand picks up a name, drops it, picks another. "And we congratulate... Johanna Mason!"<br>Oh fuck.  
>Someone, somewhere, is crying. Johanna takes one step at a time, feeling as though someone had just slapped her across the face. She takes the stage, Minni is looking surreal from up close, and Johanna finds her mother in the crowd. Looking blankly back at Johanna, the face of one who just woke from a nightmare and realised it was real, and her father, who've covered his face, and Dee, sweet, innocent Dee, who's too young to understand, but her sister's name caught her attention. Dee looks up, and when she see Johanna looking back at her, she smiles, and waves.<br>Johanna looks into those blue eyes, and suddenly, her vision is getting blurry.  
>Johanna doesn't cry. She never does.<br>Not when she gets hurt, not when her mother yells at her, never. Still she's standing here on that damn stage with a tear running down her cheek. And when she's shaking Salmers hand, another one detaches from her eyelashes.

"Oh Johanna, oh darling, oh honey..." Her mother hugs her in a way she never hugged Johanna before. Dee stands beside her, looking up, and then starts to pull Johannas sleeve. Johanna goes down on her knees, watching Dee's face closely.  
>"Are you going away, Jo-onna?"<br>"I am."  
>"Where?"<br>Johanna hesitates. Dee watches the Games, so does all, but she's only five, she hasn't figured out death yet. So the Games meaning hasn't sunken in. For that, Johanna is thankful.  
>"Just... away."<br>"When are you coming back?"  
>"I..." This isn't like her. She's stronger than this. "I don't know," she manages to get out.<br>"Oh. But I wan't to finish my boat," Dee complains, looking at the piece of bark in her hand.  
>"I bet you Steeph can help you," their mother says, stroking Dee's hair. But her eyes lie on Johanna.<br>"Time's up", the peacekeeper calls. Johanna seeks her father's eyes, he hasn't uttered a word since they came, and he takes an insecure step forward. Her mother busies herself with Dee, giving them a second of privacy. They're standing face to face, she almost as tall as he is. His eyes are widened, bottomless.  
>"Jo... I..." This time, it's his voice that cracks. But it it's not that that concerns her. His voice. It's like there's something missing. He takes a breath, then look directly into her eyes.<br>"I'm not ready to loose you." Johanna have no words to say, so she stays silent. The peacekeeper comes forward, escorting her father out. After one last look, her mother shuts the door.

Next time it opens, it's Steeph. His eyes are reddened. He's always been the emotional of them. But Johanna doesn't hesitate when he holds out his arms. Leaning her head against his chest.  
>"Don't fall apart, Johanna. Not yet. Besides, it's not your style."<br>Johanna almost smiles.  
>"I know."<br>"You're strong. Not just physically, you're not one to break down."  
>"Well, everyone already thinks I have", Johanna answers, concentrating on the sound of his heart pounding. It's a soothing sound.<br>"But... but you haven't. And you won't. And... I'll miss you."  
>Johanna nods, still leaning her forehead against his chest.<br>"That's the spirit. I'll be watching you." He gives a hollow laugh. "Not like I'll have any choice."  
>Just when he's about to leave, she calls out his name. He turns.<br>"Take care of Dee. Keep her away from... everything."  
>He nods. Then he's gone. And a few minutes after, so is she. District 7, she promises on the train. I'll be back.<p>

* * *

><p>Authours note:<em> I decided to rewrite this story, because I was simply not happy when rereading the chapters I wrote. I also want to thank everyone who reads andor reviews this story, you're all wonderful!_

_I have not changed much in the plot, mostly just changed in the text and formulations. With that said, hope you'll enjoy it, more is to come!_

_ -T_


	2. The strategy

The train moves disturbingly fast, it's all a blur outside the windows. It gives Johanna the feeling she's dreaming, not being able to see her surrounding properly. Salmer disappears almost immediately into his chamber, and when Minni tries to talk to her Johanna decides to do the same.

Her bedroom is bright, and there's a faint pungent odor. The sheets on her bed doesn't have a wrinkle, until Johanna throws herself at it, and her mind starts to drift.  
>It's amazing how you never think it'll happen to you. Every year kids around you disappear, but in the back of your mind you have faith in that after all these years of terror, of sleepless nights, it won't happen to you. And it's fucking unfair. It was just this year and next, and then she'd be safe forever.<br>But that's not true, Johanna reminds herself. She would never be safe. From the reaping, yes, but never from the games. Because Dee was only five. She would be safe for another seven years, and then it would be her turn of nightmares, of the knot of terror in her stomach that never seemed to disappear. And all Johanna could do at that point was to watch. Watch, and worry, but she would be as helpless as the rest of the teary-eyed crowd when it came to the merciless reaping.

A knock on the door interrupts her thoughts, and that's just as well, because sometimes, she hated thinking. She murmurs something in response and the door opens. It's Kara, the old victor who looks like she'll get ripped apart by the faintest breeze. Her eyes, though, aren't flicking from side to side anymore, but lie steady on Johanna. Why is she here? Johanna frowns. Kara's really not on her top ten-want to talk to at the moment. Oh right, Kara is Johanna's mentor now. Well, Johanna could have asked for more, but at least Kara is sober, sane and somewhat calm. That's more than at least half of the mentors, according to the cameras.  
>"So, dear, how are you feeling?" Kara's voice is so small it's just audible. Johanna laugh, a strange, forced laugh, and her eyes remain cold.<br>"Feeling? Fantastic. Great. Never better."  
>"I've been there, girl, don't play around. I know what you're thinking." Kara's harsh voice surprises, but at least now Johanna can hear what she says. "I came in to discuss your strategy, the sooner we start the better."<br>"Strategy? I got reaped like an hour ago. You know, I'm not even sure this is real," Johanna replies, with a crooked smile. Kara doesn't respond this time, just stands there looking at her. And hell, is it annoying.  
>"Wanted anything?" Johanna says a bit more sulkily. "Because I bet I can get you anything you want from here." Kara still doesn't respond, just stands there by the doorpost, looking at Johanna. What is it with this lady?<br>"OK then. Whatever. Just shut the door after you," Johanna finally says and turns to stare at the window again. This turned out to be even a worse day than she'd expected. After a few minutes, she hears the door shut.

"So, kids. Let us know. What can you do?" Johanna frowns. Can't they just let them eat?  
>"Come on, don't be shy. Salmer, can you handle a knife?"<br>Salmer murmurs something. He seems almost as cheery as Johanna.  
>"What's that now?" Minni doesn't give up.<br>"A bit. Maybe. We've thrown knives back home for fun." Oh, he's one of them, Johanna realizes. A pack of boys who thought they were the coolest thing, playing with knives and scaring children. Pathetic kids.  
>"How about you, Johanna?"<br>"Not much." It takes a minute for Minni to realize Johanna isn't going to develop her answer.  
>"I would like a word with you, Johanna, after dinner?" Kara's thin voice actually makes Johanna look up. Yeah, that should be fun. Maybe they can have a staring-competition.<br>"Whatever." Johanna goes back to her stew. Sadly she forgot about Minni's 'how-do-you-prefer-to-murder'-conversation.  
>"How about swords, then? Anyone familiar with swords?"<br>"Maybe they don't want to tell each other about their fighting skills, Minni?" Blight interferes. It's the first time Johanna ever heard him talk. In like, forever. Not even on television. Minni looks displeased for a second, and then quickly comes up with another subject.  
>"So how about we'll take a look at your competition, huh? See what you're up against!" She then proceeds to trip into another compartment, and when the rest of them rises and follows, they enter a room that reminds Johanna of her living room back home. Only in a twisted, more exclusive way. There's a TV, although much bigger than back home, and a group of couches and chairs, all in weird patterns with bright colors. Like something out of a fever dream.<p>

The anthem plays, and the reapings start. Both of the tributes from district 1 are eighteen-year-old's about twice Johanna's size. The girl from district 2 is really short, but got muscles where Johanna didn't even now you could have them, and a vicious look on her face as she volunteers.  
>The pair from 3 looks disturbingly similar to each other. One of the commentators informs the viewers that they're cousins as they cut to two sobbing mothers, standing next to each other, both with small brown eyes and thick black hair. In district 4, theres about five volunteers to choose from in the boy's section, but surprisingly no girl who volunteers. Instead, a shivering thirteen-year-old is the one to shake the seventeen-year-old boy's hand.<p>

Johanna starts to lose focus until it's time for district 7. Salmers name is drawn. They've cut away the wail from his mother, and goes directly to Minni drawing Johanna's name. Johanna doesn't recognize herself. Is she really crying? Because it sure as hell looks that way. She can forget about anyone ever being intimidated by her now. They'll kill her easy by the look of it. She watches as they shake hand, and the TV-version of her continue crying. Salmer, on the other hand, only looks determined. He's maybe not the strongest, or most fierce-looking of the tributes, but at least he didn't cry like somebody else.  
>The reapings continue, both from 8 looks like they're about ten years old, but the commentators says they're fourteen. A vicious-looking boy from 9 along with a scared sixteen-year-old. 10, two skinny teenagers, both crying - 11, a huge boy who must be over 6.5 feet, and a girl who makes a hissing noise towards the mayor. Yes, a hissing noise. She'll go far, that one.<br>Both from 12 looks underfed and scared out of their minds. Probably bloodbaths.  
>Anthem, and out. Minni turns off the television just as a program that's called "Highlights of the Hunger" is about to begin. The face of a screaming child flash before the screen's turned black. Minni doesn't seem to notice.<p>

It's getting dark, so one by one they split up. Johanna, who planned on being the first one alone in her room, finds herself in her chamber once again with Kara. This time Kara is the one sitting on the bed, Johanna standing, pending, in the corner of the room.  
>"We need to discuss your strategy."<br>"Yeah, well, I haven't really been able to come up with one since our last conversation..."  
>"I know you're a smart girl," Kara interferes. Johanna doesn't like the way Kara talks to her, like Kara herself is the wisest woman on earth. OK, she's obviously done this before and done it the right way, too, but does she have to be so 'I-know-all-your-secrets'-ish? Because it's getting on Johanna's last nerve.<br>"Yeah, well, then if I'm so smart, then I'll figure out a way to get sponsors even though they all just saw me cry. That should be easy, wouldn't it, for a smart girl like myself?" Johanna spits at her mentor. Kara flinches, and closes her eyes, and keep them closed for so long that Johanna wonders if she might have fallen asleep right then and there, but then she opens them, and her gaze is determined.  
>"You're not the one who cries, are you?"<br>"No, I'm not! But now, everybody in Panem thinks I am and there's nothing I can do about it! Everybody will think I'm an easy prey, and when I'm alone with no allies and no sponsors I'll be just as easy to kill as everyone thinks I'll be!" She's shouting now, but hardly notice it herself. "And then, when I'm dead, I'll be just a pretty smart girl, huh? Smart enough to figure out she doesn't have a fucking chance in these games!" Unsure of where to go, she crosses her arms and leans her forehead against the window, and closes her eyes.  
>"So there's a temper. That's good." Kara's words are almost drowned by sheer determination from Johanna's side, but only almost.<br>"Yeah, I'm a real fucking piece of work, ain't I?" Johanna snaps, wondering why the hell her mentor is still here.  
>"But if the careers try to hunt you down, it'll be six against one. So what I think you should to is simply to make them overlook them. Be weak."<br>"Wait... what?" Johanna blurts out, she was prepared for some more shouting.  
>"It's the games, Johanna. A game."<br>"You want me to be weak?" It seems like the worst strategy she's ever heard.  
>"Play weak. I think it's your best chance." Kara's eyes were sincere.<br>"Well, then... how about sponsors?"  
>"You have to manage without them. But you're not a spoiled brat, and I think I'm right when I say you can survive under hard conditions."<br>"And no allies?"  
>"That's right."<br>Silence.  
>"You think this is my best shot?"<br>Kara nods.  
>"And I've been here long enough to know how to play the game. But it's your choice."<br>No allies. No sponsors. Her best shot. Johanna shrugs. After all, she wants to survive.  
>"So I guess I have a strategy then."<p>

* * *

><p>Author's note: <em>I'm working with the fifth chapter right now, so if you want the story updated more frequently please tell me and review, your thoughts mean a lot to me. <em>

_-T_


	3. The transformation

Oh dear god, why don't they just kill her now and get over with it?  
>Johanna stifles an outburst and decides to just tune out the annoying sound that is her assistants. It took about five seconds for Johanna to realize she was listening to the most worthless sentences she's ever heard, so she stopped. Unfortunately it isn't just about sitting trying hard not to listen, but she's got to sit around not listening while her skin is being ripped off. Well, figuratively speaking. Or, you know, maybe not.<br>And since she can't stand sitting around listening without getting a minor brain injury, Johanna just tries to take in her assistant's appearance, which is exhausting enough.

When they walked through the door, there were so many colors, Johanna just couldn't take it all in. And since she neither wants to know nor remember their names, Johanna just nicknamed them Annoying 1, 2 and 3. Annoying 1 is male, with raspberry hair and rainbow eyes. Annoying 2 is a woman with pink skin and black sleek hair, and Annoying 3 is also a woman, or more like a girl. She's got doe brown eyes and gold hair, and got this annoying habit to always add "mm-huh" after every sentence. It was after three turns of "mm-huh" that Johanna stopped listen.

Slowly, Annoying 1, 2 and 3 transform her from the real Johanna Mason to this upgraded, soft-skinned glowing version of herself. Maybe she should appreciate it since she haven't been this clean ever before, but her shiny hair makes her feel uncomfortable and with her perfect shaped nails she needs some getting used to before she can actually use her hands. Why do these people care so much for looks? Maybe they're just that stupid. Annoying 2 suddenly gives out a squeal that's so high-pitched Johanna is surprised she can hear it.  
>"Look at her! Now we are good!" Johanna's three assistants join up around her in a semicircle.<br>"She looks fabulous!" Annoying 3's eyes sparkle.  
>"Or at least, less like a savage," Annoying 1 says with a hearty laugh.<br>"What do you think?" A little too late Johanna realizes they're talking with her. She looks up and sees her assistants excited faces.  
>"Yeah... pretty..." Something about their faces reminds her of Dee back home. Which is crazy because they have just about nothing in common. If it wasn't for Annoying 3's doe eyes, that's got an innocence she's only seen in her sister, and the look of pride and childish joy that's visible in all three of them. Just like Dee used to look when she's done something nice for someone else. Like that time when she decided to clean the walls back home, completely ruining the bottom half of their mother's precious wallpapers. When they caught her, she smiled and said: "Surprise!" while holding out the old rag she used to soak the walls. The memory actually makes Johanna smile.<br>"We thought that would bring a smile out of you, sulky! I'll go get Stenence!" Annoying 1's shrill voice calls her back to the present, to the very white room she's sitting in. Facing the shiny, renewed, Capitol-version of herself in the mirror.

Johanna's stylist is an idiot. Stenence is a man, to start with. He looks to be in his thirties. Or rather, he looks like someone in his fifties trying to look thirty. He's got white hair with curls rolled up on top of each other which makes his hairdo about two feet tall. Spread all over this hairstyle is yellow and orange bows, in all sizes. And if it wasn't enough, his skin got this sick green color. All in all, he looks like one old man trying desperate to be young. And not to vomit. Which is kind of what Johanna tries to do also when she's spent several hours in this man's company.  
>"Jooo-channa. Straighten up now because I am to introduce your... costume!"<br>Oh my, what a surprise. Annoying 1, 2 and 3 all screams of excitement when Stenence pulls out a frightening small amount of fabric and a pile of leaves. When put on, though, it's a tight brown bodysuit that kind of resembles bark, if never seen in actual life, and the plastic leaves forms a kind of hat, or something like that. She's dressed as a fucking tree.  
>She isn't surprised, though. For as long as she's been alive and probably twenty years before that, District 7 tributes have been trees. And here is the man responsible. And he is an idiot.<br>When walking down to the chariot, escorted by Stenence the Stylist, they meet up with Salmer and a woman who must be his stylist because Stenence starts chattering away with her immediately, which leaves Salmer and Johanna walking silently behind them. Even if Johanna had been the kind of girl who greeted strangers with a smile and spread joy and laughter around her, she wouldn't want to talk to him. And that doesn't change being who she is. Even though they're about the same age, they've never had any contact whatsoever, and for that Johanna is thankful. She's not completely heartless, but she also knows there is only one winner. And it's not the quiet boy walking beside her.

There are people running everywhere when they enter the bottom of the Remake Center. Most of the tributes, though, stand next to their chariot, either talking to their district partner or just staring blankly out in space. Johanna decides to just kill some time stroking one of the horses neck and watching the other tributes, meeting them for the first time.  
>The four tributes from 1 and 2 all stand talking to each other, looking very vicious in their own way. Johanna notice how they more than often shot a glance over to the 9 boy. Looks like he's impressed them enough to be considered a member of the Career pack. Since the girl from 4 isn't really what they usually are, Johanna's best guess is that they are looking for a replacement to get the strongest pack possible. But by the look of it, nine boy isn't really up for allies. He doesn't seem to be up for, well, anything. He just stands there, silent, sometimes shooting a deadly glare to someone nearby. Johanna almost smiles when she sees his district partner, because she looks scared as hell. Standing as far away from the boy as she possibly can, she nervously plays with the button of her gray shirt, her eyes reddened and shivering slightly. She'll be down in the first five minutes.<p>

Unfortunately Johanna can't make the same conclusion with the 9 boy. If Johanna now was to die, she would like someone that wasn't him to kill her. If she was to be scared of anyone, it would've been him. Good thing then, she isn't scared.  
>A great roar coming from somewhere outside the building rises, and the doors slide open with the first chariot rolling out. When the second one follows, Minni comes out of nowhere and rushes them up on the chariot. They must look ridiculous, two trees standing on top of a chariot, pulled by four chestnut horses, soon to be shown in every household of Panem. Salmer looks positively terrified when he hears the crowds cheering, and somehow that amuses Johanna. She reflects over this for a second, Salmer is her district partner, isn't she supposed to feel, like, a bond to him or something? Something that'll remind her of home? But I don't need a reminder, she tells herself. She'll be home in a few weeks.<p>

Johanna is relieved that she doesn't have to do much, playing weak and forgettable she doesn't have to do anything more than smile half-hearted during the twenty-minutes ride to the City Circle and then just listen to President Snow's speech. It must be harder for tributes like the district 1 girl, because she obviously wants the crowd to love her. Waving and smiling and blowing kisses, even during the president's speech, must be a bit tiring after half an hour. Forty minutes. Fifty. Johanna smiles when she sees how the district one girl finally give up and discretely rubs her wrist.  
>When the too-long speech is finally over, they are given one last applause and then the darkness swallows them for a second before reappearing in the Training Center. Minni, of course, appears out of thin air and takes them to the elevator. This somehow annoys Johanna. What is up with all this babysitting? She's seventeen, she can take care of herself. And she seriously doubts that getting lost in the training center could somehow be worse then where she was going. But of course, she also doubted Minni thought like that. Hell, she doubted Minni thought at all.<p>

When the number seven flash, Minni grabs both of them by hand and drags them out of the elevator, and into a dining room. Soon both their mentors and their stylists join them, and they all seem excited about the opening ceremony, although Johanna really can't see why. They weren't at all noticed, their costumes were horrible and President Snow's speech were boring her to death. After watching the recaps, which was exactly like she had foreseen - after all, they had been living trees in a wagon - she made it to bed.

Johanna was relieved when she closed the door behind her, closed out all those capitol people with capitol accents and capitol fashion. This day had been completely useless. She laid down on her bed, closed her eyes and tried to picture what would have happened today if the name drawn wouldn't have been hers.  
>Working in the forest was rough sometimes, but she missed it now. A good pine to hack away on wouldn't hurt. And she missed the smell. She might even admit that she missed the people, but that was maybe stretching it too far. But after all it was her home.<br>Johanna shook her head, thinking of home and Dee and pine trees wouldn't help her now. There was no point thinking about home, it wouldn't keep her concentrated and it certainly wouldn't help her win this thing. She kind of looked forward to the morning though. She couldn't have pulled of intimidating the other tributes, it was so much easier just to make them overlook her. And she had some ideas of how to make that happen. And it might even be fun.


	4. The information

They were almost the last tributes to arrive, only the pair from 11 came after. The careers were already standing together, muttering under their breath, but broke off when the tributes from 11 arrived and a lady from the capitol started introducing the stations. Johanna decided to start off easy and head over to the edible plants-station. She kept in the background, but it doesn't take long until she's bored out of her mind. She'd worked in a forest her whole life, most of it was just common sense.

The pair from 2 are throwing knives disturbingly accurate. Johanna decides to head over there, and makes sure to stumble over her own feet as she approaches them. She picks up a knife, drops it, picks it up again, and watch them throw for a while.  
>"Can I try?" she says just audible, and neither of them notice. "Can - can I try?" she says louder, her voice shaking slightly, not enough to make it too obvious she's faking. The sound of her scared voice brings out that vicious smile from the girl.<br>"Yeah, go ahead," she says, backing away, and Johanna notices the amused look on her face as she crosses her arms and awaits Johannas try.  
>Johanna chose a pretty heavy knife, to make the hit as accurate as possible she should draw back her arm and throw hard, to make it spin as much as possible so it wouldn't lose pace half-way through. So to make it miss, she should probably do the opposite. She grabs the handle and let the knife fly way too early. It misses the target completely and bounces off the walls. Johanna smiles slightly, knowing that broad smiles are widening even more behind her back. But for someone who's handled knives her whole life that was a really good miss. She's quite pleased with it.<br>"Oh, I... I usually throw better than that..." Johanna says, and manages to blush. The instructor comes to help her, but Johanna makes sure he realizes it's a waste of time, and soon he's back to admire the girl from 2. She's good, but she's got this thing where she bends forward directly after throwing, freezing completely in her pose for just a second, and Johanna wonders if she'll be that good when she has to throw knife after knife at a running target. Johanna strongly suspects the girl won't be able to get the focus she needs once in the arena.

Now she's worthless at knife-throwing. Maybe she should try the other weapons, just to make sure everyone gets she's never held a weapon before. And at the end of the day, it's like no one even know she's there, not even Salmer, who should really know better. And it fits her perfectly.  
>She spends the next day learning a bit about ropes and knots, and the rest studying her competition.<p>

The pair from 3, the cousins, doesn't go anywhere without each other. They don't seem to speak much, either, they just move from station to station, probably trying to hold it together. They've must have played together as children. And now they're probably going to die together, too. How ironic.  
>Standing beside them at the edible-plants station, is the girl from 5. She's tiny for a fifteen-year-old, short, skinny and blond. She won't last long. She obviously can't handle a spear or a sword, they'll be too heavy for her. Maybe a knife, but she'll have to get close to her enemy and by the look of it, even Johanna could easily push her away.<br>Over by the station with swords, Johanna can see how the pair from 1, the girl from 2 and the boy from 4 are standing together. No doubt there will be the usual careerpack this year. But there's the question about the girl from District 4, maybe they will start off only five instead of six. But the boy seem pretty protective of her, so Johanna's best guess is he will make sure the girl from home will join their pack. That's too bad. Johanna makes a knot that's supposed to catch birds if done correctly, but she can't really copy the twists and turns of the knot the instructor's making. She's joined by the tributes from District 10, who both seems about Johanna's age. The boy is tall, skinny with dark hair and grey eyes. The girl is shorter, she's also blond but has thick hair which seems very well cared for. Johanna doesn't really spend much time on her own hair, it's a bit below shoulder-length and she never does anything special with it. On days like the reaping, or birthdays, her mother usually braids it, but that's about it. She's never been that girly girl who spends hour in front of the mirror. Johanna goes back to her knot when suddenly the boy addresses her.  
>"Uhm, what?" Johanna replies shyly.<br>"I asked what you name is?" The boy smiles at her. Smiles.  
>"Johanna," Johanna murmurs and looks very stubbornly down at her rope.<br>"I'm Eli, and this is Trice," Eli says and makes a gesture towards the girl.  
>Johanna's not sure of what do to next. She does not want allies, she does not want to know anyone personally and she does not want this boy smiling at her like they would be future best friends.<br>"OK," is Johanna's brilliant response and then she goes back to her knot. She's started a very difficult one that the instructor tells her can be really valuable when she wants to catch something that's running. Johanna get's the feeling he isn't talking about a rabbit. But she doesn't really get the hang of it, so she stand up and leave before the boy suggests they should make necklaces and sing songs about friendship or something.

The training days go by quickly. Too fast. Funny, Johanna would've figured she would remember these days by detail, remembering even the tiniest things. Instead, it just turns to a blur, and no details stand out. All new things, all the extraordinary food, the colorful people, it all slips by as if this was her everyday life. While she concentrates on the other tributes, she doesn't notice if she's eating the most delicious meal of her life, or that the clothes she wears probably cost more than her house back home. But she do remember that the hissing girl from 11 is called Rey and that the boy from 12 is twelve years old. She also knows that the scary-looking boy from 9 can swing a mace like it's a twig and that the boy from 1, Razzle, is useless with a bow. And before she knows it, it's time for the private sessions.

Johanna sits by herself with a worried expression and plays with her food. But she's not the only one. The girl from four looks very pale and keeps touching her hair, and almost no one talks. One by one the tributes are called and soon Salmer has disappeared too. Johanna have no idea about where they go after their training session, maybe back to their floor. And then her name is called. Johanna is surprised when she realizes her knees are a bit weak. She has nothing to worry about, she'll just have to show them how useless she is. Shouldn't be difficult.

When she enters the room the Gamemakers look tired, tired and irritated. Well her performance won't make them happier, she's quite sure of that. She starts with the spears. She's not that good a thrower in reality, so it doesn't take much to fail miserably. She proceeds with swords, bows and knives, all with different levels of failure. But she stays off the axes, because that's her real strength and she doesn't want to throw well, you know, by accident. She does her worst and a few minutes later, they tell her she's dismissed. She leaves the room accompanied by a few patronizing laughs and a strong urge to set the people behind her on fire.

After that, there's so much time. Johanna spends it shut up in her room. She does not want to think, but she wants to talk to someone even less, so after some strolls back and forth trying hopelessly to keep the thoughts out, she decides to try out to the technology in the room. First she takes a shower, using every button there is. Then, she starts to order food. She starts out with dishes she actually wants, but when they appear so effortless and fast it somehow upsets her. The machine is so... untouchable. Too perfect.  
>So she starts to test it. The room is filling up with food as she orders more and more, but it's like she doesn't even realize it, she's so busy trying to break the machine that somehow symbolizes the Capitol that it's only when she doesn't have anywhere to put it she wakes up and see a room that's covered in different kinds of foods. Suddenly she's hit by nausea, and something that, if she would let it up to the surface, would be fear. But she won't let her feelings near her. Instead she pushes them down to the bottom of herself, and replace the emptiness with cold, hard determination. Just remember to breathe. Breathing is the key.<p>

The dinner is loud. Since Minni's been joined by Stenence the Stylist and his female counterpart, Minni is overexcited and all three of them are chattering away in high-pitched voices about whatever. Since Johanna's become really good at tuning out the sound whenever Capitol-people talks, she has no idea what they're talking about and nor does she want to know. She just concentrates on the food, which is interesting enough, until it's time for scores.  
>Careers, the usual 8 to 10. Except for the girl from 4, who gets a six. No scores to talk about, and then there's district 7. Salmer, a six. Johanna's photo is shown. Her name flashes. And then... the number three.<br>There is silence for a moment, not even Minni seems to think of something to say. But then Stenence the Stylist gives a hearty laugh and reaches for an apple.  
>"Well, looks like we'll count you out. A shame, really, it would be nice with a winner, maybe that could give me a few more jobs," he says and winks to Minni, who giggles.<br>"Yes, well, no worries, get to bed, tomorrow we'll work on your interviews! Maybe that could give you a few sponsors, because, let's face it, those scores won't. But don't give up hope," she adds quickly, "I'm a fabulous instructor."  
>But Johanna seeks Kara's eyes. And when the old lady gives her a half-smile and a nod, that's all she needs.<p> 


	5. The preparation

Johanna never really liked dresses. Long dresses made her trip over her own feet, and short ones made her feel exposed, and also made her very aware of her knees. She didn't feel overexcited when it came to returning to the prep room. Huh, no kidding.

Maybe it had something to do with the vulnerable feeling of being stripped completely naked in front of complete strangers, but her determination and survival instinct feels smaller than ever. And if it would die completely, so would she. She can't let that to happen. But as they straighten her hair and does her make-up, she's slowly falling to pieces. Scenes are playing in her head, memories she'd kept in the back of her mind, smells and smiles and an image of her father in the forest.  
>"I can't," she murmurs.<br>"What's that?" Annoying 2 says in a dreaming voice.  
>"Uh, nothing," Johanna says barely audible, but am highly aware of the hollow feeling in her stomach. At least the nausea hasn't come back, she tells herself in a halfhearted attempt to cheer herself up, then nearly laughs at her pathetic attempt. She spends the rest of her time with her assistants like a lifeless rag doll. Look that way, she looks that way, straighten up, she straightens up, lift your chin, she lifts her chin. On and on until they're finally done. That's when she locks eyes with herself in the mirror. Her hair is straight, she's wearing a brown sleek dress, and heels.<p>

"I've never worn heels before," she says to her reflection. Her reflection says the same back to her. That's true. First time in heels. That's a fact.  
>Now she's starting to feel ill. Suddenly she can't stand it, bathroom, now. She mumbles something in excuse to the nearest assistant, takes the closest door but instead of a bathroom she's standing in a sort of make-up kind of storage. But it doesn't bother her, it's dark and quiet and she can sit there, feeling hollow and sick and the nausea is back, when a soft knock on the door disturbs her feelings.<br>"Not acceptable, I mean please, manners..." someone says in a Capitol accent from the other room. But the one who enters is Kara.  
>"Johanna. You have to get up. Get up. Stand straight." Johanna follows her commands, she's that lifeless rag doll again. Kara gives her a faint smile.<br>"Johanna, listen to me." Kara's voice is once again very quiet, but since the room they're standing in is very small Johanna have no problems hearing what she has to say.  
>"You cannot afford a breakdown. On stage, yes. Inside, no. You have to be stable. You have to be strong. This is not like you, Johanna."<br>"How do you know what's like me? You've known me for five fucking days!" Johanna spat at her, suddenly angry. She liked being angry. It pressed down all the other feelings, the hollowness, the longing, and the nausea. She needed that. "And what if I can't stay strong? What'll happen then?"  
>Kara eyed her carefully, but then her eyes went flickering around.<br>"Do you want to stay alive?"  
>Such an odd question. Of course she wanted to stay alive, why wouldn't she?<br>"Yes."  
>"Do you want to go home?"<br>Home. Dee. Steeph. Her parents. Her mom, braiding her hair.  
>"Yes."<br>"Then you'll stay strong. You have to. And ", Kara added, almost hesitantly, "you will do whatever it takes."  
>Yes. She will do whatever it takes. She stands still for a second, then draws herself up to her full height and step out back to her stylist.<p>

"So, Johanna Mason. Is that a winner's name I'm hearing?"  
>"Uh, I don't know... I mean... I guess..."<br>The crowd did not like her. Actually, they already pitied her. Not for the slaughter that was about to come, but this girl was so pathetic it was almost ridiculous. Such a bloodbath.  
>"Well, you should be confident!"<br>"I know, sorry." Her face went red. Poor girl, so... worthless. So forgettable. "It's just you never know, do you?" Her voice went shrill, and she looked kind of like a scared doe when her eyes went to the rest at the other twenty-three tributes. "You never know who's going to win."  
>"That's right. But we sure like to guess, don't we?" Caeser turned to the audience, who cheered, they loved guessing, and they loved to bet.<br>"So, Johanna, tell me a bit about yourself!"  
>"Uh, OK... My name is Johanna Mason. I am seventeen years old. I come from District 7. I... I have a mother and a father and a sister. Her name is Dee."<br>"And what is Dee like?" Johanna knew Caeser was trying to make her somehow interesting, but there was no way he could ever make her seem like a threat. She could, she _would_ do whatever it took. And if she had to paint a picture of her as a plain, uninteresting bloodbath from seven, then that was what she would do.  
>"Dee... I don't know... She's blond, see. And... she's five years old." She looks like an angel when she sleeps. She giggles when people trips. She can spend hours with crayons and a bit of paper, or a wall, or a piece of the floor, or somebody's arm. Whenever you sleep next to her she holds your hair in a firm grip to feel safe. She adores colours and hates being carried. Her smile melts hearts like only children's smiles do and she is one of few who can bring a smile out of Johanna too. "And... I don't know. She's kind of how little girls are most." Johanna finished off with an insecure smile that dies almost instantly. Even Caeser can't turn that in to a memorable answer.<br>"Well I can tell she's cute. How about love interests, you've got a boyfriend back home?" Johanna blushes even more.  
>"No, no one. I'm only seventeen."<br>"Sure there's no one back home who makes your heart pound?"  
>"That's a hard one..." A nervous laugh after that, and Caeser looks as relieved as Johanna when the buzzer finally goes off.<br>"Well, best of luck to you, Johanna Mason from district seven!"  
>The applause that follows is very polite. But Johanna is satisfied, there is no chance anyone will count her in.<p>

Even Minni haven't seen her real self, they spent four hours together yesterday and she had as bad posture, weak smile and whining attitude when they finished as when they started. It was the most fun Johanna had had since the reaping. At the end, Minni was nearly exploding with frustration but obviously didn't want it to show, as it would probably be "bad manners". Her struggle to hide her feelings was hilarious.  
>"You'll... you'll do fine. I really can't help you anymore," Minni said through gritted teeth, but then obviously decided to pity Johanna and gave her a patronizing smile that made Johanna wish Minni was in the games as well, because she wouldn't have minded throwing an axe in the back of her head.<p>

That night she lies wide awake. She doesn't even attempt to close her eyes, and her heart is beating heavily in her chest. This might be the last night of her life. Every muscle in her body is tense, and she is pretty sure she forgot how to relax.  
>What she really wants to do right know is get up, and run. Not as in flee, but really run, run until she's out of breath and her chest hurts and her knees are trembling. Instead, she has to lie in a too-soft-to-be-comfortable-bed, and wait for the morning to come. And all she can do is wait. And try to keep her thoughts quiet, and images from past games out from her head, and after a while, she drifts into an uneasy sleep, dreaming that a massive black shape is hunting her.<p>

Next morning she wakes up with a start, but there's nothing that disturbed her sleep except from her own thoughts. The silent is suffocating, but to move is to acknowledge that she's awake and she wants to stay asleep, just a little bit longer, even if she is just pretending. However, that plan fails miserably when Minni bursts through the door.  
>"Wake up! You've got the biggest day ahead of you, so don't you dare oversleep!" Her squealing voice cuts through the silence like a knife and gets into Johanna's head. She wants so bad to just put her hands over her head and sing loudly, but if she is going to win this thing she'll need Minni on her side. She's not sure she's that good in public, and the victor's tour is incredibly public. Besides, Johanna never was much of a singer.<br>But that doesn't necessarily mean she has to be adorable and cute so Minni'll love her, because there is a limit for everything, and Johanna's cute-and-adorable-limit isn't hard to reach. So she scowls at Minni, but keeps all the insult she's got on her tongue quiet, and proceeds to take a shower.

Stenence the Stylists appear at breakfast, and a relieved Minni starts to chatter away. Salmer is pale, Johanna is focusing on the sound of her heartbeat, Blight is humming slightly and Kara is nowhere to be seen. The breakfast is huge, but all Johanna can eat is a corner of a toast and some fruit. But then she drinks loads of water against her own will, because she's seen people die of dehydration since before she could walk and if she now was to die, she'd prefer if it was by something more action-filled than lack of water.  
>The water somehow tastes bad, but she makes her brain shut up and drinks another glass. Salmer hasn't touched his food or water, she can see his hands trembling. Stenence and Minni is talking about bets, about the rumours of someone important, and about the dinner later tonight.<br>"I was thinking I'd wear something green, you know, to compliment my eyes," Minni says sounding concerned, and Stenence nods knowingly.  
>"Green would look great on you, you know, but have you ever thought about purple? And maybe some feathers?"<br>"Well, no. You think that could work?"  
>Johanna can't help but stare at them. They are discussing clothes? They are discussing clothes when so many wake up with a lump in their throat as they are to watch their loved ones die, to watch their classmate be tortured, to fight till the death. Johanna stands up so quickly they all look up, but she says nothing as she leaves the breakfast table.<br>"You better come back soon, you'll leave in twenty minutes!" Minni called after her. Johanna threw her napkin behind her in response.

"I thought I'd find you here." Kara didn't even knock before opening the door, which earned her an irritated look before Johanna replied.  
>"Yeah. It's my bedroom, after all."<br>"Last year it was Twinna Tessey's. Remember her?" Twinna Tessey, the fourteen-year-old who got beheaded by a boy from 6. Strong guy, didn't win though. Johanna nods.  
>"The year before that Alexa Minnitons." Kara sits down beside Johanna on the bed. "Year before that Elucia Rate. Before her Emine Steela, and her predecessor was Yita Spring." There's a short pause.<br>"Wonder who it'll be next year," Johanna says. Kara nods, apparently lost in thoughts. Johanna let her think, and the two of them just sits in silence for a while.  
>"I won't be like them," Johanna finally says. She's not like district 7's previous girl tributes, and she certainly won't end like them. There's another long pause, and Johanna thinks of those girls who slept in the same bed as her, who went through all this just like she did, but they died. She won't.<br>"I know you won't." Kara's not looking at her, but she doesn't need to. They both just sit, staring blankly ahead of them, both lost in thoughts. At some point Kara starts stroking the back of Johanna's hand.  
>"Don't kill anyone until it's down to the last eight," Kara suddenly says and Johanna is brought back to the present with a start. "Not if you can help it. The gamemakers probably expect you to die during the first days so no need to draw attention to the fact that you're still alive. Get out from the Cornucopia as quickly as you can, no waiting for anything. But if there's something useful in your immediate area, take it with you. No big things though, but some rope or matches could be crucial depending on what kind of arena there is."<p>

The arena. Bet it'll be dead cold, Johanna hated freezing. Probably not a lot of water, since last year the whole arena was flooded. The girl from 4 won, even though she was kind of mental by then. But she knew how to swim. Hopefully lots of trees, maybe a big forest. Pines. Johanna sighs.  
>"We better get going, Johanna. It's time."<br>"S'pose it is."  
>They both stand up, and Kara smiles at Johanna, but there's no trace of happiness in her expression.<br>"Good luck, Johanna Mason. You know what to do." And all Johanna can do is nod, and leave the room. Kara doesn't follow her.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note<strong>: _Maybe you think Johanna is abut OOC in this chapter (and perhaps the ones before), so I just wanted to explain a bit how I think and feel about it. As we know the Games changes people and Johanna at this point is not the same Johanna we meet in Mockingjay and Catching fire. I've put a lot of thought into this and I think that to be realistic I can't write her as sarcastic and cold as in the books. So I hope you'll put out with it. The Johanna we all know and love will appear ;) _

_So. The games are about to begin! I'm reeeeeally excited. _

_Also, I like reviews. _

_-T _


	6. The arena

The waiting is the worst part. In the arena she can rely on the adrenaline to clear her mind, but now there's just a lot of waiting. Minutes to kill. Johanna paces back and forth in the room, and Stenence couldn't be paying her less attention, but that suits her just fine. He did care enough to explain some details about her clothes, though.  
>"Won't be cold," he declared. "Not a lot of water either. This fabric doesn't go well with water." Johanna slowly lets out her breath. That's two worst case scenarios avoided. The outfit this year consists of skintight pants, a silky, baggy jacket with a hood and underneath that an equally tight shirt. All bright grey except for a big, bright red circle on the back of the jacket. A bull's-eye.<br>"The shoes are slim, but the sole is really thin. Don't think it'll matter much to you, of course," he laughed, "but they'll probably be worn out after a week, or ten days."  
>He shot her a gleeful look. Johanna, barely managing to keep her hands still in anger, established that she hated this man. She hated him so much she was an inch from attacking him and clawing out his ugly eyes. He was an ugly, pale copy of a man and she hated hated hated him. She took a deep breath.<br>"Thank you."  
>That's when she started pacing the floor, trying to keep her thoughts together. Concentration. That was the key. Of course it would have been much easier to concentrate if her fucking nerves hadn't been so stupid and tense and in the way. She tried to drink something, but this time it tasted so bad she spat it out on the floor.<br>"Tributes, please step on to the platform." She flinched. It's time.  
>"Well, I guess this is goodbye then," Stenence says with a hearty smile. God, she really hated him.<br>"Wouldn't be so sure," Johanna couldn't help herself but reply with. Then she took the glass of water and threw it in his face.  
>"Tributes, ten seconds."<br>Johanna turned on her heel and the capsule closed around her. Stenence hadn't moved an inch when the platform began to rise, he was frozen in the middle of a movement with the water dripping down on his expensive clothes, looking stunned. Feeling she finally had done something that was true to her character, she smiled sweetly and gave him the middle finger just before he vanished from her sight.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the seventy-first Hunger Games begin!"  
>Claudius Templesmith. She had never liked his voice. Much less now that it was booming over her.<br>Sixty seconds. One minute. Huh. Think.  
>At first she's blinded by the sun. But when the platform stops rising, she's able to take in the surroundings. And she had better do it fast.<br>The cornucopia is in front of her, of course. It's gleaming in the sun, which is directly above them. Behind her is the edge of a forest and dry earth as far as she can see, the cracks in it almost reaches the raised ground which surrounds the cornucopia. Next to her is scared nine girl, and - well shit - one boy. It always sucked starting off with a career on one's side. There's a mountain in the distance. Across from her is grass, and in the distance she can see water sparkling. Too plain ground to hide. Besides, the forest she can work with. Forest it is.

30 seconds. Half a minute. Breath.  
>There are several backpacks, the closest to her a few metres away. Backpacks are good. There are surprisingly many, actually. About twelve or fourteen strategically placed between platforms. Weapons, tents, et cetera in the middle. But the thing, Johanna realizes, is the food. There's no loose bread, fruit, or any kind of food really. So there must be in the backpacks. And there's not nearly enough for all of them. How many have already realized it?<br>Johanna's eyes dart around the tribute's faces. The clock is ticking. Two girl only got eyes for something in the cornucopia's mouth.  
>Six girl is shaking, silent tears streaming down her face. Ten boy, Eli, exchanges a glance with his district partner.<br>Eleven girl leans forward. Johanna bites her lip.  
>The silence is heavy.<br>The gong sounds, and hell brakes loose.

Johanna throws herself forward and snatches up the backpack. There seems to be much shorter distance to the cornucopia from this point of view, because the tributes that go for it has already reached the weapons. Nine girl seems unsure of where to go and have just turned around when an axe buries in her shoulder and she screams, a terrified, pained scream. Johanna handles instinctively and grabs the handle of the axe and pulls it out, a long knife comes flying but it's not for her, it's for nine. It buries in her neck and with a choked cough she falls to the ground, splattering blood all around her.  
>Johanna whips her head around and there's two girl accompanied by four boy, both looking straight at Johanna. Behind them five boy is lying on the ground bleeding while tiny eleven girl raises a jagged hunters knife above him. Johanna takes a short breath.<br>Get the fuck out of here.  
>She turns on her heel, and runs, a spear comes soaring after her, but it hits the ground and no one follows her. Run. Run. She's flying across the dead grass, a firm grip on the handle of the axe and the backpack hoisted up on her right shoulder. Run. The forest is edging closer, if she can just disappear in its shadow... Someone is screaming behind her, others are shouting, the sound of knives clashing, and then the sun is blocked by trees.<br>Johanna glances back. Some are running for their lives, some are lying on the ground, some are fighting. Johanna turns her back to it all and breaks into a jog.  
>So, she survived the bloodbath, that must be counted as a good thing. She's been jogging for about an hour when the cannons go off. Five... six... seven, Johanna counts silently. Seven dead. Sixteen more to go and then she'll be out of here.<br>The prior thing to do if you're not a career is usually to get the hell out of the cornucopia and it's surroundings, so that's another thing that's going according to the non-existent plan, she checks off. But she's not nearly as far enough as she wants to be, so she speeds up and focus on breathing.

As she makes her way deeper into the forest, she starts to take notice of her surroundings. The forest does not consists of pines, but some strange mixture, several she's never seen before, some she's never seen in real life but heard about in school, and a few she actually knows. Birch, willows and maples. It's a pretty bright forest. But the deeper she goes, the darker it gets. Same kinds, only... darker.  
>But it's the silence that disturbs her the most. Knowing that every sound is unknown, and its source probably prepared to kill her, makes her twitchy and her eyes dart through the trees. But, she says to herself, they're not going to set mutts on her on day one. And if there's another stray tribute near her, well, she'll just have to start show her actual abilities sooner than anticipated. And hope there's no tribute watching that'll realize she's not the trembling girl from seven who can't even hold a knife properly. But then she'll just have to chase him down and kill him, too. But that's way more trouble than it's worth really. Let's just hope she doesn't run into someone.<p>

After a few hours, with nothing more than trees in sight, she decides it's safe to sit down for a while. Keeping the axe within reach, she sinks down at the roots of a tree and opens the backpack.  
>As expected, there's food. Bread, cans containing different stews, and a water-bottle. Empty. But she's not thirsty yet, that'll have to wait. There's enough in here for days, so as long as she has it food won't be a problem. But eventually it will run out. And the tributes without a backpack have nothing at all. It's going to be a scarce game, this year.<br>But the arena is pretty basic, and she thanks the gamemakers for that. Some years they make the arenas extreme, like the year before last when the tributes were thrown into a desert, with almost no shelter for the merciless sun. There was a ginger that year that passed out after two days, and got killed by a thirteen-year-old who just happened to pass by and find her. Claudius Templesmith thought it was hilarious. And in a very twisted, psycho kind of way, maybe it was. Maybe if one was raised to watch children be tortured, ripped apart, scream in angst and kill each other and enjoy it, well then maybe the situation was funny. Johanna had thought about it when she was alone in the woods, one of those times she allowed her mind to wander. Maybe if you're a brainwashed, sadistic human being, you would laugh at it. Johanna shakes her head. Not the time to be daydreaming. At least that girl didn't have to suffer.  
>A crash somewhere in the distance startles Johanna and her finger closes around the axe's shaft. She sits, ready, all senses on edge, but nothing more is heard so she closes the backpack, slowly gets to her feet, and starts to run in the opposite direction.<p>

She has not settled anywhere yet when darkness begins to fall.  
>No more cannons have been fired, but that's hardly surprising as the careers, the hunters, are probably busy setting up camp. But they'll be after them all soon. That's the hardest part of being from a non career-district, it's always the pack against one. But they'll not make her a top priority though, probably lethal nine and that huge boy from eleven comes first, and probably a lot of other tributes follows before they make Johanna a priority. That doesn't mean they won't kill her if they run into her though, so all she can do is to keep moving really. After another hour of walking slash jogging, another cannon fires. Johanna quickly looks up to the sky, as if there's anything there to see. But the sky shows nothing, and the forest is silent.<p>

But she has to stop at some point, and when she passes some tight-growing bushes she decides that's where she'll sleep. She's not familiar with this kind of bushes, but they can't be poisonous since birds are flying out when she approaches them, and they seem perfectly fine. The roots are growing tightly intertwined, like thick branches made of smaller twigs, and that makes some space near the ground, perfect for hiding. And what's more, when she checks the area to make sure no creepy animals or other tributes are lying around, she finds water. Grateful, she fills her water-bottle and makes her way back to the bushes. And that's when the anthem starts.

It's like everything, including the birds and the trees and the air, freezes and looks up to the sky as the dead tributes are shown. The first one to appear is five girl. No surprise. Her district partner follows, and both six's as well. Next, the girl from eight. So Salmer is alive. Johanna isn't very sure how to react. But really, the sooner he dies the better. She wouldn't want to kill him, and she would be very unpopular back home if she did. Johanna snorts at the thought. Yeah, unpopular for a change.

Eight boy, nine girl, and finally, twelve girl. That's it. Eight tributes all in all. Johanna crawls underneath her bushes, efficiently hiding her from the world, and with the axe in her hand and the backpack under her head, she falls asleep.


	7. The distraction

The first thing she heard was birdsong. The birds had returned to their nest, and Johanna watched them as she tried to regain full consciousness. Careful not to make a noise, she turned her head and peeked through the thick roots. She couldn't see anything, or anyone, but it would be foolish to get up and reveal herself before she's sure. But the only thing she can hear are the birds, so with the axe in her hand she slowly crawls out. Fortunately no one's waiting for her with a raised spear or anything, and so she slowly stands up and massages her neck. After several nights of the most luxurious bed the Capitol can offer, sleeping in a damp bush with a backpack filled with cans as a pillow isn't really what you would call comfortable. But her house back home wasn't exactly President Snow's palace either, so she would get used to it soon.  
>It couldn't be that late, judging by the sun maybe six-seven, but it was already hot, even in the trees shadow. She couldn't be more grateful that she'd got these few hours undisturbed sleep, sleeping is precious when everything around you wants to kill you. But it's only day two, Johanna thought. They're not conspiring against her already. 'They' as in the gamemakers. But of course they were, ever since that stupid slip had her name written on it they've been plotting her murder. But the question is when they want her to die. But even Johanna understands there's no point in trying to figure out the way of the Gamemakers.<br>Johanna looks up as if she could see them sitting there in the sky, in their purple clothes with sixteen lives left to play with, fifteen more to kill. But she's seen enough of the games to have a hint of how the gamemakers want this to play out, and they prefer tribute murdering tribute before boring avalanches or other rigged murders. The more blood the better. And the tributes maybe she can handle.

She eats her breakfast staying where she is, figuring it's as safe as anywhere else. Before she leaves she fills her water-bottle once more, the temperature was rising and it'd be dead hot by noon. With an ironic smile she remembers the redheaded girl from four, the thirteen-year-old. If she made it into the careerpack, hopefully the sun will give her a hard time. But then again, she's from four, and based on their average skin color there's a lot of sun in their district. Maybe she dyed her hair?  
>Maybe I've gone as shallow as my assistants, Johanna thinks when she realize she's debating with herself about wether or not some random girls hair color is fake. God, she needed something to distract her. Maybe a stay tribute, that would keep her busy for a while.<p>

She doesn't really have a plan where to go, if you don't count the let's-not-get-killed-by-careers-strategy she's been playing this far. But she has water, food, an axe, and as long as the food lasts she doesn't have much she needs to do. The careers could hopefully wipe out a dozen players, themselves included, before she needed to act. Okay so maybe that was a dream scenario.  
>"Would've figured the Games would be harder than this," she mumbles to herself. Then she reflects over the fact that she's talking to herself. Maybe by the end of all this, she'll be out of her mind like the victor last year, and that would kind of suck.<p>

The morning turns out to be quiet, so after walking for a few hours she decides to sit down, hidden behind some rocks and have lunch in the shelter of the trees. She was right about the weather and the sun is burning, but it's not too bad in the shadow and for a moment it's like she could be at home on a hot summer's day, taking a brake from the woods. That is until there's a loud crash nearby and she flies to her feet, axe in hand, heart pumping like crazy, before her mind has even realized what's going on. When it does, however, she quickly crouches down, hidden behind the rocks, and voices distinguish themselves from the forests sound.  
>"...would take them down with this knife, I would. I'm a decent thrower."<br>"Against six trained careers? Yeah, you and your knife would be scary!"  
>"Knock if off, Trice. You don't know how good he is."<br>Eli and Trice from 10, she recognizes their voices. Especially Eli's, he is the only tribute with that soft tone in his voice. And with them is Salmer. So he found some allies. Good for him.  
>"Whatever. Hey seven, pass me some water. I'm tired."<br>"We might as well rest some, we've been moving far enough."  
>And of course, they choose to sit down on the other side of the rocks. Ooof course. Thank you higher power. Johanna curses and press her lips together. Not that she'll expect them to look around for nearby victims, but if they found her - well, it'd be three against one. And how much would it suck to die at Salmers hands? Would he kill her if he got the chance? They're supposed to have this bond thing, district partners and all. And she would not enjoy killing him really, but if he attacked her she wouldn't exactly be pleading for mercy. She would stab this axe in his head and be done with it. But the pair from ten and Salmer are not hunters, they're avoiding the trouble, and so Johanna decides she's pretty safe where she is.<br>"So the three's paired up, too?" Trice says. Someone murmurs in agreement. "I saw them carry five girl away. Been cut pretty badly in the leg, blood flowing everywhere. Guess she was part of their alliance too?"  
>"Ahuh. Didn't last though, since she was up in the sky last night. Was a skinny thing though, wouldn't have lasted long anyway," Eli says.<br>"You mean with the backpacks?" Salmer asks.  
>"Yeah, they didn't get one, at least didn't have one when we run into them in the woods."<br>"You ran into them?" Salmer asks.  
>"Just before we met you," Trice says.<br>"Why didn't you fight them, then?"  
>"Why should we?" Eli replies, with a stern note in his voice. "They had their hands full with that girl."<br>"Yeah, easy targets!" Salmer says eagerly, but his voice dies down almost instantly. They sit quiet for a while, and Johanna's knees start to hurt. She also really wants to straighten her back, but she's afraid she'll do some kind of noise.  
>"What, you don't plan to kill anyone?" Salmer says, a bit sulky, after a while.<br>"I didn't say that." Eli replies, with a chilly tone. "It's just I... They had just escaped the bloodbath and... And she was bleeding all over, I just thought-"  
>"It's okay, Eli. Salmer, shut up." Trice interferes.<br>Another long pause.  
>"God, it's warm. I'm sweating like crazy." Trice again.<br>"Water?" Eli offers.  
>"Nah, it's okay. I just hate feeling all sticky and warm like this."<br>"Beats freezing," Salmer says, but is cut off by the booming sound of a cannon. Johanna looks up, and by the silence on the other side of the rocks they all did, but of course, nothing shows until tonight. Nine out.  
>"Wonder who that was."<br>"Maybe a career?" Salmer says hopefully.  
>"Yeah, right. They're probably the cause, though. Guess it was just another tribute like us."<br>"Well, if it was them, maybe we should move along." Yes. Please, please do.  
>"How do you know we won't walk straight into them?" Salmer asks. Wow, does he ever stop whining?<br>"Do you have to be so negative? C'mon, let's get going."

And they do. Johanna lets out a breath as she hears their steps dying away, and she stands up, cracks her shoulders and wipes sweat of her forehead with her sleeve. Or tries to, because the grey jacket is so silky it doesn't stuck.  
>"Damn it," she murmurs, lifts the backpack to her forehead and rubs it off on it. The temperature is still rising, and sweat is trickling down her back. Water is crucial in this kind of arena, and her bottle is too small to hold more than a litre a time. Which confides her to the pools and ponds around the forest, or else she'll get dehydrated. Lovely.<p>

The day goes by slowly in the heat. Johanna is still twitchy whenever there's a loud sound nearby, and she's always keeping her axe withing reach, but as the hours drag by her body relaxes somewhat. She spends the day close to a pond, where she washes up, drinks a lot of water to avoid a headache and digs up some edible roots. They're not tempting at the moment, but her food supply will run out eventually so she stores them in her backpack.

When darkness falls she finds a hidden spot at the end of a slope and opens up one of the cans. The anthem starts and she quickly looks up. Some sort of dinner entertainment, thank you Capitol. Only one dead today, and surprisingly it's a career. Four girl, the one with the possibly dyed hair, the little one. The thirteen-year-old. Hopefully, the whole career-gang had met some trouble and now maybe they were all hurt. Maybe one of them were dying too. Or at least a little bit wounded? Pretty please? Unfortunately there's no one around to answer her questions. She slowly empties that contained some kind of stew. It's kind of been a slow day, but that's just for her. Maybe there are trivbutes bleeding all over all around the forest while she's here, enjoying a stew in the quiet forest. Or maybe she'll wake up in an hour as the forest burns to the ground. Oh, the possibilities. No use wondering. Since she's not that covered tonight, she curls up in a half sitting position with the axe safely in her hand, and falls asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors note: <strong>So thank you to those who have reviewed, for the rest of you: REVIEW! I'm having so much fun writing this story now that I've gotten into it(have a lot of great and, uh, gory ideas... stay tuned!) so I won't quit just because no one's telling me how fantastic I am or how they would totally worship me if they met me(... ;) ) but, you know, it puts a smile on my face whenever I get one. Also, I'm sick, that counts for a pity-review right?

Gonna stop attentionwhoring now. But review! Review review!

-T


	8. The hunters

Something is moving in front of her. It's massive and threatening and is growing bigger for every second and she tries to crawl back, but she's stuck. Something is holding on to her foot, chaining her to the ground. She looks down and it's Dee. A scream pierces the silence, and Johanna awakes with a start.

As soon as her eyes fly open she's on her feet, axe in hand, but no one is upon her. Yet, anyway, because there's another scream close by. Shit. She grabs the backpack, but just as she straightens up to sprints off into the woods a figure fly past her. It's Trice. She takes no notice of Johanna. Dark, excited voices shouts after her, definitely male voices, and others, really close, also male, are screaming for Trice to run. With no hesitation, Johanna sprints off after her.  
>Trice's thick, blond hair swifts from one side to the other as she darts around the trees, and Johanna catches up with her as they run deeper into the forest. They don't acknowledge each other, and there's no time since the steps behind them always seem to be just out of sight, never out of ear shoot. Johanna's mind is running crazy, same speed as her heart, which is pumping wildly in her chest.<p>

Must be the careers after them, she decides, but not all of them. And a good guess is Salmer and Eli are somewhere behind them too, but Trice is the fastest runner and so she has the furthest advantage. Johanna is even faster than her, but the trees grow so close that Trice, who seems to know exactly where to place her feet, doesn't fall behind once. There is no sunlight this deep in, and the trunks seem to be so dark green or brown they're almost black. There's a crash and a pained scream behind them and Trice stops and turns around, all color drained from her face.  
>"Eli!" Her shout is pained and strangled but cut off instantly as Johanna, who maintained full speed just behind her, crashes into Trice and sends them both flying.<br>"Eli!" Trice screams again, and Johanna curses as she sees her axe a few feet in front of her and crawls after it. Two pair of footsteps, but no excited roars this time, crashes through the undergrowth and Johanna scrambles to her feet. Trice is still sitting on the ground, her eyes pierced on the spot where their attackers will soon appear, and Johanna can't help herself but slap her in the face.  
>"What the fuck are you doing, come on!" She takes a firm grip of a part of Trice she can reach, which happens to be her shoulder and part of her hair, and drags her to her feet, and Trice glances back only once before she takes off once again. Just in time, too. Salmer breaks into the clearing and after him, the boy from one. He's tall and slim but his face and shoulders have several deep, bloody scratches that go all the way from his chest to his platinum blond hair.<p>

In one swift movement he draws back his right arm, and sends a jagged knife flying. Salmer seems to just watch it as it goes, paralyzed, but Johanna turns her body just in time and it goes just past her stomach, and hits the ground a few feet away. A tortured cry from behind some trees make one boy turn his head, and Johanna seizes her chance and turns to run, but just when she's passing the knife she reaches out and grabs the handle. An axe is great but heavy, with this she could maybe slit a throat or two. With it in her hand she straightens up and run full speed ahead.  
>At first she thinks the one boy decided to follow her, but there's no sound except some panting and she realizes, it's only Trice. And after her Salmer. After an eternity or maybe a few minutes, the trees are lighter in color again and Johanna slows down, her heart still beating madly. She reaches a clearing and slumps herself down against a trunk. She's drenched in sweat and her throat is dry. Without bothering to be responsible she drinks up her entire water supply, and she takes several deep breaths, trying to calm her pulse. All this until she even realizes Salmer and Trice are there with her.<p>

They obviously haven't even considered the thought of her as a threat since they are both lying on the ground, panting. Trice has curled up, hands around her knees, whimpering. Salmer is simply sprawled out on his back, trying to catch his breath. Maybe she should take them out right now, but she really doesn't want to. The sight of Trice, paler than ever, hugging herself while trying so hard not to fall apart... it makes... it makes Johanna want to... it makes her want to leave.

When her breath is close to normal again, she's getting to her feet silently. If she just walks away right now, there's no obligations to do anything. But then she remembers how they're supposed to see her, the picture of the weak, whiny teenage girl everyone thinks she is. Well, since she just outran a trained career, picked up a knife whilst hunted and used - colorful - language, maybe she could do with some more whining. Especially since these are her competitors and could very well be prepared to kill her... well... always. Although at the moment they're not really up for it.  
>"Why hasn't there been a cannon?" The words sound so painful, and so small, they're something between a whimpering and a sob, but the forest is so eerie quiet the meaning is not lost. Why hasn't there been a cannon? She knows why. Because they are savouring the moment. Torturing him. Giving the audience a show. Eli's face flash for Johannas eyes. Something is stinging in her chest.<p>

The absence of the cannon is thickening. Trice has closed her eyes, and Johanna can feel how she tries to close out the world and the pain, but really she's just opened up a new world of vivid images of pain, torture, and the skinny blond girl starts to sob. Johanna just looks at her, breathing deeply. Salmer has gotten to his knees and tries to wipe off sweat with the inner side of his jacket. It seems to work and Johanna makes a mental note about using that idea later. She has no idea of what to do now. What she wants to do is get up and leave, but would the whiny annoying girl just throw away these possible allies like that? The obvious answer is no, but there's the chance they don't want her on their team anyway. But then of course, she did kind of help Trice back there. Why did she do that? So unnecessary.  
>Of course, allies are supposed to be a good thing. They are a good thing. It's just this trust thing she's got a problem with. It will all eventually come down to death, and there's simply no way in hell Johanna will be one of those twenty-three no one will remember. She's going home, and unfortunately that means they aren't, which is why everything that's human about them bugs her. They're obstacles, she tells herself, and they must go. But they mustn't go right now, right? She can tag along for a couple of days, maybe. Then she'll kill them in their sleep and run off. Not that the plan sounds really tempting, but what choice does she have?<p>

"They're not following us, at least." Salmer is the one who speaks first and because Trice is in her own world and probably didn't hear a word, Johanna feels obliged to answer.  
>"No. They're probably... you know... busy." Her voice is high-pitched and squeaky, in complete contrast to her former yelling.<br>"We lost an ally though, are you, er, up for the spot?" Oh but... No, no Salmer, leave me alone!  
>"Wha... you really want to team up with me?" Johanna says, her lips forming an insecure smile.<br>"Yeah, why not." Salmer seems indifferent, but smug. Yep, he's the great saviour now, helping this poor good-for-nothing girl out when in need. Thank you so freaking much.  
>"Oh wow. Of course I want to... yeah! Thank you!" Friends! Become blood-brothers and swear our eternal loyalty to each other! Maybe they could eat cookies made out of rainbows and butterfly kisses and drive into the sunset together!<br>In her corner, Trice lets out another whimper.

The cannon doesn't fire until an hour later. When it does, Trice goes completely quiet even though Salmer tries to engage her in a conversation. Johanna tries to see the positive in the situation: with the torture and all, the audience will be satisfied for the day. Hopefully. But it's hard to see anything positive in a situation like this when Trice lies quiet and tense. Well, I'll just have to shrug it off, she tells herself and goes to help Salmer build something that might look like a shelter when finished. What can she do about it, anyway? She debates with herself. Nothing.

When darkness falls they settle beneath the fragile shelter they've built, Trice has finally started moving again, and watch as Elis face lights up the sky. He was the only death today, so the anthem follows, and then the sky is pitch-black. Trice is curled up against a tree, Salmer is cleaning a knife, and Johanna takes a moment to just stare into space. Her knife had been clenched in her hand since she got hold of it at the chase and she realised she might not be able to let go of it. Not that she planned to.  
>"I'll take the first watch," she murmured and positioned herself at the opening of the tent-thingy, leaving Trice and Salmer behind. At least there's something positive with this alliance: sleep. But even that she wasn't so sure of. She would trust Salmer the day the Capitol would cancel the games and Trice might have already gone insane. But she was so tired. Just this one night, she said to herself. Then, she could kill them both in their sleep. Ugh, that did not sound good, not even in her head.<p> 


End file.
